While on the surface birthdays are a fun and celebratory experience, they actually are scientifically proven to cause more stress than happiness! This goes for both the person ringing in a new year and the friends/family surrounding him or her. The stress has to do with a multitude of things such as getting older, planning events, and buying gifts. Buying gifts is an interesting stressor for people because there are several questions on a gift-buyer’s mind: What does he/she want for his/her birthday? Will he/she like the gift? Does he/she already have this? Is it expensive enough? Truthfully, the list of worry-inducing questions goes on and on when trying to figure out what to buy someone for their birthday. Often, close family and best friends buy the most meaningful and expensive gifts. Distant relatives can get away with checks or gift cards, and the friendly acquaintances are usually re-gifting. The best gift should always come from the person the birthday girl/guy is most intimate with, whether that’s a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. But, there is of course one category of ‘friend’ that we have left out of our mini gift guide: The fuckbuddy! The term ‘fuckbuddy’ is a lot newer than husband, girlfriend, friend, or parent. But, it’s not a new idea. However, ‘fuckbuddy’ is a novel term due to the fact that it is just now being recognized by society as a legitimate place in someone else’s life rather than an ill-kept secret. Back in the day, a fuckbuddy wouldn’t think of getting a birthday gift for the person in question. But, this new legitimacy handed to the idea of a fuckbuddy puts the gift-giving into question! If you are the fuckbuddy wondering what to get the birthday guy/gal, you’ll want to ask yourself some questions before determining what to get!
Here are the two questions you’ll want to ask before deciding if you should even get your fuckbuddy a gift in the first place:
If your fuckbuddy is new, you’re off the hook in terms of a gift (or even remembering a birthday) due to the fact that emotional attachment does not go hand-in-hand with the relationship between fuckbuddies. It’s not your responsibility. However, if you and you fuckbuddy have been fucking for more than 6 months, you’ll want to consider getting him/her a gift. If you’ve been fucking for over a year and have already experienced a birthday with said fuckbuddy, you’ll need to go in on a gift.
What is the nature of your fuckbuddy relationship. While, as aforementioned, a fuckbuddy is a NSA relationship, a fuckbuddy has the ability to transform into something a little bit more, such as a true friend. If you and your fuckbuddy speak outside of the bedroom and hangout in ways that go beyond simply sexual, you’ll likely want to get your fuckbuddy a gift.
If you’ve determined that, yes, you need to get your fuckbuddy a gift, then you’ll need to come up with what that gift is! It seems very challenging, but it doesn’t have to be so hard. Consider the following types of fuckbuddy relationships. Which one applies to you and your fuckbuddy?
If you and your fuckbuddy are friends, you’ll want to show him/her in a non-romantic way that you care for him/her. Thinking about something your fuckbuddy has mentioned that he/she likes and grabbing a gift card is an effortless way to express your affection as a friend for the person you are fucking! Does your fuckbuddy love going to the movies? Is he/she always holding Starbucks or talking about a favorite food spot?
If the fuckbuddy relationship is new but you still feel inclined to get the person a gift, a candle is always a nice/easy option. Don’t go for an unscented candle that cost less than $15. Rather, go ahead and get a nice candle that smells incredible (maybe even one that reminds you of sex). It’s a sweet small gesture without being romantic!
If you and your fuckbuddy have known each other for a long time (especially if you’ve already experienced birthday(s) together), go for a nice and delicious dessert. It doesn’t have to be chocolates, but it should be something fairly nice that doesn’t imply romance or real friendship. Candy and dessert is enjoyable for a brief period of time and is easy to pick up. You won’t be sending any mixed signals with this simple and sweet gift.
If you and your fuckbuddy are always on (you know what we mean), then opt for a sexy gift! This gift is really going to depend on what you and your fuckbuddy are into, but go to a local sex shop and pick up a kinky toy that he/she can enjoy alone or that the two of you can share. If your fuckbuddy is someone you want to spend a little extra on, go for some nice underwear! You can get away with anything that says, fuck me right now!
This is the trickiest place to be in when in it comes to picking out a fuckbuddy’s birthday gift. But, the easiest way to handle the situation is to get something useful, somewhat meaningful, and simple. Seasonal gifts are the best for this. A nice scarf for the fall, a small succulent for summer or spring, or some nice hot cocoa mix for winter are all great examples of seasonal gifts. It implies that the person means something to you without completely crossing romantic lines.
[Related: Things You Should Never Do With A Fuckbuddy]