So, what is a sex candle anyways?

A sex candle is a candle made for sensual and massage play. The oils used to create the wax are skin-safe, and the temperatures required to melt the wax are especially low so that you can use them with less heat than the average candle (and avoid burning yourself). They often smell amazing, to further tantalize the senses while you play around. The temperature, smell, and texture are all designed to add even more pleasure to a sexual experience. People use them for added arousal or to increase their BDSM experiences.

 

Are massage/sex candles the same as regular candles?

Regular candles aren’t safe. They are extremely hot, made of paraffin wax (which is unsafe for the skin), full of chemicals and additives, and have wicks that don’t take your safety into consideration (cored wicks are often made with zinc or tin). It is for the benefit of keeping your skin and experience as safe as possible. Massage or sex candles, on the other hand, are much safer. People see wax play in movies and think they can get away with using any old candle and that is so unsafe. Again, these candles melt at a much lower temperature so they melt with less heat and cool down quickly. They often come with pouring spouts and are made of oils that are safe on the skin! They also feel so much softer than regular candles. Also, some sex candles are created to enhance the sensory experience beyond just touch. Most candles smell good, but these babies usually smell sexy. Remember, this is still an open flame. A fire extinguisher is recommended to have nearby and avoid contact with flammable items (like tissues and silks)

 

How to enjoy them with a fuckbuddy?

The beauty in these candles is that they can be used all over the body. They can be used on external genital regions, your bum, your nipples, etc. They are especially fun to use during foreplay. The best way to ease into using them is to straddle your fuckbuddy and carefully drip them onto their chest or back. You can use them in combination with a thin layer of baby oil for an added sensation. Rub the wax around the area. As you become more comfortable, play with it in more sensitive areas. It’s very fun to use massage wax in combination with a blindfold. The element of surprise, temperature, and mystery makes for a very arousing situation.

 

Additional Tips: 

  • Use wax on areas with less hair as the hair tends to come off with the removal of the wax which isn’t very sexy.
  • Test the wax on your own skin first and have your FWB do the same. Everyone has a different pain tolerance, so you want to make sure this is for you!
  • If your sex candle doesn’t have a pouring spout, pour a bit onto a plate or your palm to drip it safely.
  • Drip the candle from 1ft away.
  • Use sheets you don’t mind ruining when playing with wax

 

Safety Tips: 

  • Again, everyone’s pain tolerance is different. Test a small amount of the dripping out on your hand to make sure that this is the kind of thing both you and your FWB can handle!
  • Drip the wax from about 1ft away so that it has time to cool in the air before hitting the skin. This is actually a big deal and is advice that should be heeded throughout the sexual play.

 

Why is using a massage candle with your fuckbuddy a good idea?

Introducing new elements of surprise and sensations into the bedroom is always beneficial to your sex life. It’s a way to expand your sexual experiences in new ways and heighten your experience! Because you are experimenting with something a little dangerous, it’s a huge bonding exercise between you and your fuckbuddy. It increases trust, arousal, and adds a new dynamic of play between you and your sex friend. Though fuckbuddy rules dictate that you leave your emotional baggage at the door, this can be great for your sex life in situations with a fuckbuddy. It also forces a new type of communication that is both verbal and physical. Understanding pain as it relates to pleasure has benefits both inside and outside of the bedroom, which is what makes this a beneficial activity to try with a non-friendly fuckbuddy… as in a sex friend you have no real connection with, like an escort. In fact, many escorts who engage in BDSM have massage candle play listed as part of their menu of fun sex things to do. It’s a way to work out anxiety, reduce stress, and experience pleasure in a new more extreme way.

 

[Related: How to Bring Food Into the Bedroom]