Fuckbuddies are always a fantastic time. It’s all of the fun without any of the strings. All of the sexy times without any of the emotional ones. Even in a friends-with-benefits situation, where emotions are more prevalent because friendship is there, there’s no real responsibility to the other person. While this is a great arrangement for some, there are people out there who long for something a little more substantial than a run-of-the-mill fuck in the middle of the week. They want some baggage, some emotions, and someone to take care of them. We know that all types of relationships, from casual to not-so-casual are valid, which is why we understand how people are seeking something serious. However, it can get a little complicated when you want to be serious with your fuckbuddy. When you enter a fuckbuddy relationship, you enter a silent no-strings-attached contract in which you always leave your baggage at coat check before you come in and fuck. You keep it casual. So, that’s what your hookup expects from you and nothing more. But, if you start to catch the feels for your casual fuck, then you’ve got to play your cards exactly right in order to turn it into a relationship. If you’re wondering how to do it, check out these tips!
Make sure this is what you really want
First, you’re going to want to be absolutely sure that you want to turn this hookup into the real deal. We include this as a first step because the truth is, you’ve got a really good thing going. Most people would kill to have a NSA fuck around to hookup with whenever they wanted. So, because in taking a leap to the next step you are also risking that relationship, it couldn’t hurt to double-check. You can check by imagining the scenario of a full-fledged relationship with your fuckbuddy in your head. Do you want to go on dates with this person, take care of this person, cuddle on Sundays? If you are screaming YES, then you know. If you aren’t sure, maybe sleep on it for a couple of moons.
Slowly get more vulnerable
The real thing that separates a hookup from something more special is the vulnerability. So, if you start to slip your emotions into conversations slowly, you might start to form something real. Perhaps your FWB will react by sharing things with you too, and poof! Your hookup just became something more. No, it won’t happen overnight, but it’s a great way to start laying the framework for something more serious. Not to mention, it’s a nice way to gauge the reaction of your hookup partner. How do they handle it when you attempt to get serious with them? Do they retreat, or do they get serious back with you? If your FWB is fine letting the post-coital conversations get kind of deep, there might be something there.
Give them the D
Yeah, we know you’ve been giving or getting the D for a while now. We’re talking about a different kind of D. Something naughtier, perhaps. Something bigger! We are, of course, talking about a date. Ask your fuckbuddy to dinner, drinks, a movie, etc. Try to find something to do that’s outside of the apartment, and especially outside of the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be a big deal either. In fact, it should be low key. For example, don’t book a room at The Four Seasons in Europe. Instead, bring a bottle of wine to the park one day. Make it a no-pressure situation, so that if your fuckbuddy is taken by surprise by this sudden desire to do something other than hookup, they can consider it without starting to sweat or panic. You’ll never know if this FWB situation is going to go any further if you never take it outside of the bedroom. You don’t even have to frame it as a ‘date.’ It can really be just the two of you hanging out somewhere other than your room, house, apartment, home, etc.
With fuckbuddies, in any capacity, honesty is the best policy. It sounds really lame, but frankly it’s what you sign up for when you enter a casual physical thing. The official rules of being a casual hookup state that you should always be honest when you are starting to catch feelings, out of fairness for yourself and your FWB. It isn’t always easy and it’s probably one of the most commonly broken rules of casually banging. But, laying your cards out on the table is going to help you out because it will ensure that you don’t waste time on anything and that your fuckbuddy knows what’s up. Plus, the best-case scenario is always a possibility: Your fuckbuddy is into you too!
[Related: How to Not Have Feelings For a Fuckbuddy]