Sex is awesome, and that’s a universal truth. It’s been the truth since the dawn of mankind, and we bet you’ve already thought about it a couple of times today. You’re not alone. It’s something that is on everyone’s mind because it feels so damn good! Both supply and demand are incredibly high; and yet, so many people are unable to find someone to simply have great sex with.

Why? For many reasons, but at the core of it all is this: It’s complicated. Or, at least, we as a species have made it that way. If someone isn’t looking for love but is looking for sex, they may feel stuck. This is because in most cases there is a lot of effort to fuck someone, risk, and time that goes into getting someone into bed. Should I call my ex? Complicated. Should I text that chick who wants to date me? Risky. Should I dress up, hit the bar, and see what happens? Sure. But it may take a while and might not happen at all. But, sex doesn’t have to be complicated! All you really need to do is find yourself a fuckbuddy.

So, what is a fuckbuddy? The word gets tossed around a lot and is frequently used incorrectly. Fuckbuddies are simply two people who both just want to have sex without any strings, feelings, or complications. They can ask each other for sex at any time without fear of judgment. Also, they can have sex as often as they want without playing any games. It’s totally about having fun with minimal effort.

We know, it sounds like a wet dream. But at BuddyBang, we are all about turning that dream into a reality and getting you laid. So, stop sitting on your hand and put away the petroleum jelly. We’ve written you the ultimate fuckbuddy guide so that you can find the cream for your cannoli, the sharpener for your pencil, the mug for your teabag… or whatever you’re into.

How to find a fuckbuddy online

Unlike other dating sites, BuddyBang is specifically for fucking. We’re not saying you won’t meet your soulmate (you never know), but everyone who joins the site is in the same boat. Nobody joins BuddyBang because they like long walks on the beach or because they want to ‘woo’ someone. It is a community that respects the laws of casual sex. This mutual understanding is put place to make it easy to be truthful about who you are and what you want.

Your profile should be genuine. Keep your photos authentic, be friendly and kind, and let others know exactly what you’re into. Ask yourself what your ideal situation would be. Do you want someone who is into BDSM? Are you opposed to cuddling? Do you like threesomes? Do you want a friendship or just a quickie every now and then?

Add those things to your profile. It will attract what you are looking for. If you are shy or private, let someone you are chatting with know about your preferences as early as you can. Also, be selective. If you aren’t feeling it with someone you’ve been chatting with, let them know that you are moving on. The point of a fuckbuddy is to save time and effort, and the best way to do that is with immediate honesty. You are satisfying a craving. If you want something sweet, don’t waste your time in the chips aisle when you know that there is a banana cream pie waiting to be spooned. Or forked.

[Related: Things You Should Never Do With a Fuckbuddy]

How to be a good fuckbuddy

Firstly, it’s important to know that fuckbuddy (singular) is an oxymoron. One fuckbuddy can’t exist without the other. “I think” and “fuckbuddy” should never go in the same sentence. If you find yourself thinking, Well, I think we’re fuckbuddies, take pause. You are not fuckbuddies unless every party is on the exact same page. This is the golden rule.

Understand and fulfill both your and your fuckbuddy’s needs. Although the effort is removed from the equation, being a good fuckbuddy is not synonymous with being inconsiderate. The whole experience is supposed to be fun, pleasurable, and equal. Some fuckbuddies are ok with a quick finger blast in the bathroom of a bar, but some aren’t. Make sure to be a good guest or a good host, whatever that means to you and your fuckbuddy. Set those parameters. For example, if your fuckbuddy is used to staying the night, but this time you have work super early the next morning, let that fuckbuddy know ahead of time that they can’t sleep over. If you drunk text your fuckbuddy to come over, don’t pass out. Fuckbuddies are there to satisfy an urge, but they are people too. The more considerate you are of your fuckbuddy’s comfort, the more fun and casual the experience will be.

And finally, always always be honest about your feelings. If you begin to catch feelings, articulate that. Conversely, if you believe your fuckbuddy has caught feelings, address it. There’s no reason why you and your fuckbuddy can’t take it to the next level or be great friends who send each other memes, it just has to be mutual at all times. There is no room for hurting or being hurt as a fuckbuddy. Open, early communication is the only way to prevent that from happening.

How to establish how frequently to see a fuckbuddy

This is different for every pair. If you’re a sex machine, find someone who has a lot of free time and likes to fuck often. If not, let your fuckbuddy know your availability. We do know that it can be tricky because the itch can come at any time. The beauty of the fuckbuddy system is that you can always ask. You can hit up your fuckbuddy at 3 AM on a Tuesday. You can even hit up your fuckbuddy on Christmas. The only thing you can’t do is ask more than once. If your fuckbuddy is busy or does not respond, you have no choice but to let it be. There is no repeat calling, texting, or prodding allowed as a fuckbuddy.

How to break it off with a fuckbuddy

There are several reasons why you might want to break it off with a fuckbuddy. The most obvious is if they catch feelings or if you start a monogamous relationship with someone else (your fuckbuddy is not your side piece). If you find yourself wanting or needing to break it off, the best thing to do is send them a nice, simple text. Don’t invite them over to talk, because that may be confusing. Calling may feel a little too much, but everyone’s situation is unique. For that reason, the body of the text is going to be different for everyone.

*And ghosting? Only if you’re a little bitch. Just kidding. But seriously, ghosting is lame.

If you are breaking it off with a fuckbuddy because they have caught feelings, be sensitive. Even if you don’t mean to hurt that person, it will probably sting. The right thing to do is kindly express yourself and leave room for them if they want to talk about it (so they can gain closure). Perhaps shoot them a message that reads:

Hey _____. I am texting you to let you know that I don’t think we should be fuckbuddies anymore because I’m sensing that you want something more. This is not personal in any way and I am open to talking about it with you. I just want to be honest because I don’t want to hurt you in any way.

If it’s not that deep, you can shoot them a very casual goodbye such as:

Hey ______. I wanted to shoot you a text to let you know that I am no longer in a place where having a fuckbuddy makes sense. It was awesome while it lasted, so thank you for your time :).

If the other person is a good fuckbuddy, they will understand and leave it at that. There’s always the risk of making someone feel rejected, but if you’ve followed the guidelines and stayed transparent, then you are totally in the clear!