Sometimes, your fuckbuddy can’t fuck when you want them too. Maybe they’re out of town or don’t have time to truly do the deed. Rather than getting sexually frustrated, or heading over to Pornhub, maybe you two can try phone sex!

 

This can be very intimidating, especially since most people don’t regularly have phone sex unless they are in a long distance relationship. Even then, we have so many other ways to get off nowadays; from snapchat to video chat to snapping a naughty photo and the tried and true texting. However, texting is so impersonal. You don’t get to hear the other person’s voice, hear their breath quicken and deepen and listen as the excitement builds. In our opinion, this sounds far superior to typing a couple of words on a page. Now, how do you go about initiating phone sex for the first time? What if she isn’t into it? What if she rejects you? What if she thinks that you are being too forward or isn’t ready to take that next step with you? This can be very intimate, more-so than a face-to-face meeting. Your little sex friend might be feeling vulnerable, so how do you put her mind at ease and….wait….what are YOU going to say?! You might be used to using your mouth, but not in this way. HELP! Don’t worry dude, we got your back.

 

[Related: What To Text Your Fuckbuddy When You Want to Fuck Right Now]

 

Pretend You Are On A Date

If you take your girl out to dinner you are not going to have sex with her first thing; you are going to wine and dine her, make her feel taken care of, make her feel beautiful and wanted. It should be the same with phone sex. Don’t call her up and immediately demand phone sex. NEVER demand. Tell her how beautiful she looked in the selfie she sent you earlier that day. Ask her about her day. Make her feel heard. Make her feel comfortable. Tell her how much you missed talking to her while you were at work. Tell her that you can’t wait until you get to meet face-to-face. Romance her just as you would on a date. Ask her if she is comfortable. Ask her if she wants to try something new. Tell her you want her and then bring up the idea of phone sex. You don’t have to ask her, “Hey, do you want to have phone sex?” because that might ruin the mood. Just bring it up gradually. Tell her you want to touch her neck, explore her body and go from there. Think of this time as foreplay. She will most likely get all hot and bothered.

 

Make It About Her

If you make it about pleasing her, she will return the favor. Women are used to men being selfish, especially in the bedroom, so make sure not to get too wrapped up in what you want. Listen to her responses and let those lead you into what to say next. And don’t be afraid to ask questions about what she wants and what she likes, but don’t put too much pressure on her. You can still lead the conversation. Even if you feel uncomfortable for a moment or two, just laugh it off. People laugh during sex all of the time; it can be awkward and funny. It’s not THAT SERIOUS!

 

Do Not Demand

This is not a phone sex line. Save that shit for another time. Remember that on the other line is a human being, and hopefully a human being that you care about! Be sensitive to this. Once again, this is not a phone sex line. You aren’t paying her by the minute to fulfill your fantasies. These are shared fantasies. You are having phone sex TOGETHER. She is not there to only please you. And be sensitive to her boundaries. Some things might be off limits to talk about and that is OK. Ask her if she is sensitive to any particular subjects and steer clear.

 

Don’t Cum And Go

After you get what you want, if she is not there yet, then the conversation is not over. And if she got there before you, or better yet with you, don’t just hang up the phone right after you’re done. There is nothing that feels worse than a guy jumping into your bed only to jump out right away. Stay on the phone. Have a regular conversation, or better yet, talk about what happened and see how she is feeling about it so that you can be better next time. There is always room for improvement.